Friday, December 14, 2007

Worse year of my life

Well I am happy to see this year be finished. I hope that this next year is much better. Many horrible things happened this year and I am just now recovering from it.
1.My favorite person on the earth...had a heart attack. In fixing the artery his kidneys stopped working and he now is on dialysis 3 times a week for the rest of his life. And he will never be able to go home to his house again. My Grandmother can not take care of him and this has really put a ton of stress on her. Good thing that happened is that my Father was planning on retiring 3 weeks after my grandfather's heart attack. This means that my Father's part time job is now taking my Grandfather to dialysis and doing all the yard work and finances for my them. Bad part is that my Father was going on a very well planned trip to Alaska that had to be cancelled when my Grandfather continued to have problems. I live a 10 hour drive from them so I drove to see my them atleast 4 different times during the couple months after his heart attack.

2. I was feeling bad enough to go to the doctor which hasn't happened in 10 years or more. Turned out to be the "D" in Claritin-D that gave my nightmares 4-5 times a no sleep. I was improving in my running but without sleep the running "went south". Also stress because of my Grandparents and traveling to see them. I really never felt good...always tired and like something was wrong but I couldn't put my finger on it. Thought it was Lyme's Disease but test was negative. Doctor said lack of sleep and stress.

3. My husband lost his job(had it 3+ years)

4. Right at the time that he lost his job...we were in the process of fixing up our house. I was working on painting the living room,hall,bedroom and small bathroom. I had tore up the carpet as I finished so we could get new carpet(our old carpet was gross). Thank goodness that I had put the money away ahead of time to pay for the carpet. We had also lived with hand me down or yard sale furniture for almost 8 years of marriage so I had looked into getting new furniture and would have bought some, if his loss of job would have been a month or two later. I am basically cheap or frugal by nature and getting to the point of buying new furniture was a big move for me. I had really gotten warmed up to the idea and was really looking forward to the house having matching new furniture. But this was not to happen. It really sucked the life out of me.


6. I have lived in North Carolina for 12 years but have no close women friends. I have no one to confide in...or talk with. I have friends that I made at church but they all have families and tons of relatives...then don't call me to do things. It is hard enough to find a woman like myself that likes the outdoors,runs or does non-girlie things...but to find a Christian one is next to impossible. I am tired of being alone. If it wasn't for the job then I would consider moving. Just couldn't find such a good job anywhere else. Can't move out of state because I would lose almost 12 years that I have in the NC retirement system. So that means that I have about 16-17 years left to work...depending on how much leave I save up.

I think the above has covered it all. I feel like I am trying to climb back up a slope that is covered in grease. Right now I just isn't fulfilling,friendships aren't fulfilling and marriage isn't fulfilling. I basically have little hope of things getting much better. I am stuck in this for atleast 16 more years.